Not Worth It
by GodzillaFollower1998
Summary: Asuka asks Shinji a question, she gets more than an answer.
1. Chapter 1

**My first Evangelion story, a short story.**

 **A idea that popped into my head while walking home from college, took me two days to complete.**

 **A dark story, so be warned. Also, slight OC, but it's intentional. This is set after episode 14.**

 **Disclaimer- I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, it all belongs to Gainax.**

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Not worth it

The night was hot, Asuka thought with irritation, hot as hell. But then again, she remembered, Tokyo 3 was always hot. Thanks to the Second Impact, the climate had changed greatly; and the once older days of Japan had now become smouldering nights. The door leading to the balcony was open, letting the evening air flow in to cool the apartment's occupants.

This included Asuka herself, and the Third Child; Shinji Ikari. The former was sitting at the dinner table, patiently awaiting her meal. The latter was in the process of making said dinner, his usual job/hobby.

Asuka gave the boy glances as he cut the vegetables for their meal, the name of it lost of her as her mind wondered, the only constant sound in her ears was the knife as it made contact with the chopping board. Her blue eyes were settled on Shinji's hands as he sliced a carrot into little pieces with the craftiness of a true chef.

(Honestly, the boy could make a great meal on a good day, but she would never tell him that)

The sight made the German ask a question: "Hey Shinji, do you ever feel like killing someone?"

The knife stopped moving, and the boy turned to look at her with shock, "Sorry?"

(He's so cute when he's like that, but she would never tell him that)

It was he's usual 'I'm sorry' line that irked her due to his unbelievable cowardliness, she noted, but rather it was a 'come again' kind of sorry. The redhead shrugged, looking to the other side of the apartment; the desolate couch and the cold TV. "You know, have you ever looked at someone and thought 'boy, I'd love to kill him'?"

Asuka had always been fascinated how the little people thought, people like Shinji who were pacifists than they were fighters. She always wondered what they would do if their backs were up against the wall, or if they were pushed to the absolute limit of their patience. She could already guess the wimp's answer; he would never harm a fly. He was too spineless, too afraid of hurting others and even more afraid to get close to them.

(She could relate, but would _never_ tell him that)

The boy stared at her blankly; his usual friendly blue eyes devoid of all emotion, before he looked to the side and seemed to loss himself in thought as the considered the question. It honestly unnerved Asuka. He looked so much like his father, like _Rei._

(That goddamn wonder bitch, that _freak, doll_ )

He had been doing that quite a bit recently, she noted, ever since his time in Unit-00 two days ago. He said he didn't even remember getting into the Prototype EVA, but Asuka wondered if that was true. The Third Child was not known for lying (not like her, with her cowardly façade), but he did have moments where he held his true feelings form others (she did that _all_ the time).

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he answered "I always felt like killing my father, for sending me away. For calling me back to only pilot EVA. Even now, I still feel that urge." The words were said with a calmness that was so unsuited for the topic being discussed, and Asuka gave the boy a pointed look.

(She'd never admit fear, _never_ to _him_ )

He looked back to her, making her flinch by how fluidly his cold eyes moved, "what about you?" He asked, boldly. Asuka blinked at how—different he sounded, how _brave._

(Who the hell was he?!)

He then chuckled mirthlessly, "stupid question from stupid Shinji, you're raised to be the best right? The _best_ pilot? I doubt a little blood with scare the _great Asuka Langley Soryu_ " grinning, Shinji went back to the veggies and begun cutting them again.

The redhead gapped at his back for a moment, her mind having stopped the second he asked her in turn. It then clicked in her mind that he was _mocking_ her.

(Him, that cowardly spineless idiot)

She got to her feet immediately, the chair falling to the ground with a lifeless clatter, stomped over to him and grabbed him tightly by the right shoulder.

(She'll slap the shit out of him, make him pay!)

(Nobody makes a fool of her, _NOBODY!_ )

As she turned him, his right wrist shot up and collided with her wrist, knocking her hand off him. Her shock cost her, as the same hand shot forward and grabbed her by the throat. The fingers, slim and steely, constricted the air from her. She then felt herself move, and the back of her head slammed into the chopping board. The smell of watered carrots invaded her nose. Regaining her senses, Asuka could only stare up in mute horror as Shinji stared down at her. His eyes were wide and feral, his breathing hard. He slow raised his left hand, the knife's blade pointing upwards and gleaming in the light.

(Good God, he was going to kill her!)

Her breathing increased with her fear, "S-Shinji-"

"You know," he leaned down till their faces were only a few inches appear, close enough for a kiss to be done. He was smiling at her; it was as cold as ice. "I've dreamed about killing you, Asuka. Sometimes in downright terrifying amounts. I see myself do it in different ways, but my favourite is when I slide the blade into your warm flesh, watching the blood spill as you scream for help. You're a German pig, a _sow,_ so I'm sure you'd bleed quite a lot if I cut you." He flipped the knife in hand, the blade now pointing down, at _her._

(He was really going to do it!)

"Shinji!" she gasped desperately, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, her lung burning.

(She didn't want to die, she didn't want to die, she didn't want to die, _she didn't want to die!)_

"Shinji please!" she's so afraid, more than she's ever been in her whole life, "please, I'm sorry! Is that what you want to hear?! I'm sorry!"

The smile left the boy's face, and he sneered, "don't be so spineless." He tightened the grip on her throat, cutting off her protests.

The blade rose, and came down.

(I DON'T WANT TO DIE!)

 ** _STAB!_**

Asuka waited for death, waited for the feel of the blade piercing her. But it never came, she opened her eyes. The little psycho was closer than before, his breath washing over her face. The knife's blade was besides her face; it had slashed off some of her hair. They stayed like that for a solid minutes, the only sound is Asuka's ears was her heartbeat as it slowly calmed down. Then, Shinji took a deep breath and slowly moved away from her, pulling the blade out of the wooded board. Asuka watched him as he placed the blade over the tap, letting the water wash away the strands of her hair that clung to the blade.

(The only evidence she had was being washed down the drain)

Drying the blade, Shinji then gently puled Asuka to her feet and resumed cutting like nothing had ever happened.

Asuka stood there, her body shaking with the aftershock of the experience. Finally, she croaked out "why…"

The chopping stopped, "why what Asuka?"

She turned to him, eyes wide, but he didn't turn to her. Strands of her severed hair gleamed in the light. "Why didn't you finish the job?!" she exploded, the words echoing off the walls of the apartment.

Shinji waved the blade about in a dismissive gesture, "isn't that obvious?" he turned to face her, his look that of pure contempt. "Your not worth it, Asuka" he turned back to the greens, uttering, "you'll never be worth it."

(She wasn't worth killing?!)

For a moment she wanted to attack him, to take the knife and kill him and make him suffer! But her fear overpowered her and her damaged pride ordered her to fall back. She did so, running back to her room and slamming the door behind her hard enough for the hinges to shudder.

Shinji didn't flinch when the door closed. He looked down at the knife in his left hand, the gleaming blade that reflected his face; his cold blue eyes and thin lips. Slowly, curiously, he ran his right index finger over the sharp edge. Pulling it away, he watched the blood slowly run down the length of the kitchen utensil.

Shinji smiled cruelly.

This was going to be fun.

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 **In my opinion, there's not enough psycho Shinji stories on this site. Let's see more!**

 **Please tell me what you think!**


	2. Announcement

**Hello all, this is GodzillaFollower1998!**

 **I'd thought I take a moment of your time to give you this little announcement, concerning those who wish for a full story about this one shot. Well, those people will be pleased to know that a story including Psycho Shinji is in development!**

 **I've recently gotten into an EVA phase, mainly due to re-watching the original series and films and also from watching some videos by a fellow on YouTube under the name animekid9000. I've also had the joy of reading some pretty damn good Evangelion stories on FanFiction, such as Advice and Trust, NGE: (Not) the End and Shinji and the Doctor and many many more (check my favorites). All of these have re-sparked my love in this series and have given me more ideas for my story.**

 **I'll give you a brief summery on the plot:**

 **Set after Episode 14, Shinji's experience in Unit Zero has left feeling hallow and empty. While this eliminates much of his hesitation and fears, and opens his eyes to the world he lives in, it also leaves alien to normal emotions and anything he feels quickly passes into nothingness. This disturbs him, until one incident reveals to him that taking life gives him a brilliant burst of contentment. The story will follow the coarse of the series, with so far unnamed inclusions of themes from the Rebuild films, and follows Shinji as he takes his new life by the throat.**

 **This will be dark story, with violence, gore, mind f**king and other such things, and I plan to include much of the original themes of the series while also exploring some new ones. I will also take notes from** **Advice and Trust** **and Shinji and the Doctor, if only for pointers on how to do a more emotionally (or unbalanced) stable Shinji. There'll also be a lot of horror movie/series references and other such things, so keep your eyes pealed!**

 **Do not ask me when this story will be out, it will be when it will be. I'm working now, I'm typing this during work, so time for writing varies for me. But know that it IS coming, and I hope you enjoy my take on a bloodthirsty Shinji.**

 **Till then,** **this is GodzillaFollower1998 signing off!**


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